Saturday, 17 October 2015

living after abuse

ones everyone hear abuse they run a mile because they look at you like you as a crazy person, however only a few will be friendly to you and help you in the hard time.Its a milestone to overcome abuse when it happens in many form to you from a young age which makes it difficult to make new relationship with anyone. I am a mum of a 18 months old who been in many years of abuse in many form which lead to life time of depression which have damage my friendship and relationship because I fine it hard to truth new people .

I seen abuse from the age of 6 years in my family but as I grow up my mind start believing this was a normal life event that occur in everyday life. However this wasn’t correct to think this way because in Britain today a women is killed by a violent partner or former partner every three days,imagine it would be anyone close to you.

I was a victim of abuse from the age of 15 years from a younger guy that I was dating who beat me up for any reason you could think off. I never told anyone because I wasn’t aware of the help available out there such the police and the national domestic violence helpline. This was the first incident that lead to many of my relationship that turn into domestic violent but I never got help. This is because I was homeless and had no one to turn to for support so I put up with the abuse.I was sexually abuse due to been homeless and got hit by guys if I never did what I was told or act like how they wanted me to be, I turn into someone completely new from the really me just to keep myself safe. In average a women is assaulted 35 times before they seek help, however 112 women are like before anyone find out about the abuse.

I was physical abuse by my family from I would walk and talk but you dear talk about it and your life will be made into hell. A lot of young people are abuse by someone close to them but afraid of speaking out because they believed that no one would believed them or the abuse will get worse. I try to run away but had no one to turn to because my family was friend with most people in my local area of Lewisham so I went back home to face it all.

Then I was face with sexually abuse from a family close friend at the
age of nine and a half, I was alone and scared to tell anyone until I
was 13 years old . The lost sexually incident took part just after my 13th birthday and I had it in my head that it had to stop, I never cared if he killed me like he said he would because I wanted out of it and be a normal teenager. I wash myself for many hours and went bed to face my
family in the morning but sadly they didn’t believed to started with so I run away because I was worried he would find me. Life change but
slowly my family started to support me and I got justice for this abuse but this
Was the started of many abuse that no one would every no about until now because I was worried that I WOULD BE BLAME but I wish now that I seek help because I started to hurt myself and wanted to kill myself. Looking back now I am not the same person today because I found peace with it
all slowly for give but will never forget what happened to me .
However sometime people are only worried about what they should say to you because they never experience abuse before. Life abuse can be a life change if you seek help to rebuild you as a person and your mind after this negative life event,don’t sit in silent and let it take over your life.

I try to seek help after I had a baby from been abuse who sadly died but they wasn’t a lot of support available at time so I kept it all to myself .I was so scared to talk out or seek help because I was worried about people judging me but I was wrong.20 years Live with this dark cloud over me but final I am getting the right help and medications that works to help me over come depression.

I seek help after meeting a guy but the relationship started to go bad because I never believe that someone would ever love or my son. He stood by me even when I push him away and believed that he was abusing me so he left me . He told me to seek help after I try to hurt myself but he never give up on me so I got the help for both of them. I felt ashamed because for many years there was a side of me that I hide from my friends and family because I never wanted them to see the depression side of me so fake been this happy care free person. I was all broken inside because it felt like I was living my past life event over and over each day but my son kept me going because he needed me to be the best mum possible to him. One day I got up and book an appointment at my doctor too seek him because I wanted to be a winner for myself and over come my past, If I failed in been myself again then the nasty people would have won. Every week I am attending counseling which helping to overcome my hard childhood in order to rebuild my life and start feeling myself again.

Life is a lot better but sometime I have bad days which is normal due to negative life event. Everyday I start to feel my old self little bit which is a big positive for me and I look forward to be myself again. I want to help other people who been affect with this issue by sharing my story and how made it after many years of abuse.